Connection
Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen heard and valued: when they give and receive without judgment: and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship – Brene Brown
It is natural to want to be in Relationship. We heal and grow within relationship. It is in our DNA we are programmed for love, connection and reproduction. We used to live in tribes, we have a need to belong.
Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it Rumi
How can we attract the relationship we desire? It starts with the most important relationship, the one we have with ourself. To become conscious, to feel our feelings and emotions and be able to have vulnerable honest communication. Self awareness of our map of the world, lived experiences and the stories we tell ourselves. Our attachment style, our love language, our communication and personality preferences.
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How do we do the work?
We bring awareness. We lean in to what is uncomfortable. Trauma is the reaction and triggers are our guides. What do we fear? Rejection, being abandoned or dismissed. What is it that activates our fight, flight or freeze responses? It is important to remember we co-create the dynamic and we do have power to change the pattern and the behaviour.
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Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously Prentis Hemphill
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Reframe Breakages, disagreements, arguments as part of the process. It is how we can repair after conflict, that is how a relationship becomes stronger. We all need to have boundaries. We need to learn how to communicate effectively and how to listen actively. We all have a need for control but a partnership requires us to let go, to trust and to detach from outcomes. Separate togetherness.
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Vulnerability is not weakness it’s our greatest measure of courage Brene Brown
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Emotional Intimacy is having compassion, empathy and understanding, being fully present, validating our partners experience, showing them love and respect. Show up as who you are, your energy and vibration, your Life Force. Honour our needs, embody our highest self, welcome our most authentic parts.
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Love is the whole and more than all E.E. Cummings
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Be Here. Be You. Belong. Brene Brown
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It is a huge privilege to help my clients attract the relationships their hearts desire.